Capable of Greatness

        I've learned through experience that I must let my children know that I discipline them because I expect them to do amazing things.  I expect great things because I believe they are capable of great things.  They need to know this.  Otherwise, correction begins to feel insulting.  It can be an opportunity for the enemy to slither in and tell them that they don't measure up.  For example:  If one of my children uses unkind words with a sibling, I might remind them of the verse: Ephesians 4:29  "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion that it may give grace to those who hear it.  (ESV)  
     I then would let the offender know that they are capable of being much kinder than their behavior displayed.  I might remind them that God created them for a GOOD purpose, and that falling short of that can mean that they are creating bad habits, and denying themself of their true purpose and even denying themselves of blessings that God desires to give.  If my expectations are presented with an assumption of failure, where am I offering motivation to "fight the good fight"?  They can begin to think, "Why fight this good fight if everyone assumes you are going to be too weak to overcome"?
     I've learned that this is the same with adults.  If I have formed a negative opinion about someone and approach them as the failure that I think they are, where would I have offered the opportunity and motivation for them to prove me wrong? When we have chosen to approach every confrontation with our children or others expecting and assuming the worst, why on earth are we surprised when we get the expected results?  I have had to apologize to my children for expecting bad behavior.  Each and every human was created to glorify God with every choice they make.  We all fail, but God's mercies are new every day, so how can I not offer the same mercy?   
     You see, when you have a labeled someone negatively, there is a fatal error in your way of thinking, God disagrees with you.  He thinks he did a pretty good job in creating them, as a matter of fact, and expects you to take part in building them up to be the best they can be!  Sometimes, that does include firm expectations and guidance.  Sometimes people need to hear things that are hard to hear for their own benefit.  In my experience, the best approach is to ask myself how these tough words can assist in building a foundation instead of tearing down?  My heart has to be checked before the confrontation, and with each word that comes out of my mouth.
     I have labeled my children in a different way since I began practicing this, to offer them encouragement when they are tempted to do wrong.  That label is "capable".  Sometimes they still do wrong and begin letting their choices erase this label and replace it with words like "liar", "hateful", and "disobedient".  My goal is to return repeatedly with a fresh new label, reminding them that they are "capable", even if I wasn't thrilled with their recent choices.  They will always remain "capable" in my eyes.